


Going Through a Change

by crowning_glory



Series: ❧ misc [2]
Category: Mean Girls (2004), Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: Angst, Self-Blame, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-19
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2020-01-16 10:54:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18520012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crowning_glory/pseuds/crowning_glory
Summary: ♕Janis misses the Cady before the Plastics. The Cady she barely got to know.





	Going Through a Change

Janis wishes that Cady was still the same girl that she and Damian had found in the bathroom stall.

 

And yeah, it's her fault Cady's changed; she was the one who encouraged the whole thing. Cady was so innocent and naïve that she couldn't see the bad in Regina George—she'd just shrugged off Janis’s warning with a warm smile.

 

(Sometimes when Janis closes her eyes she sees that same smile, and there's a dull ache in her chest when she opens her eyes again and it disappears).

 

It was only supposed to be for a week. Enough time that they gathered enough stupid quotes from the Plastics to laugh about behind their backs, but not, or so they had thought, enough time for Cady to be sucked into their schemes. That backfired, though, when the invitation for Cady to sit with them was extended and extended until she was a permanent member.

 

God. In hindsight, Janis wishes they could have just stuck to the original plan. Because then Cady would be safe with her and Damian, laughing at Damian’s lame jokes and encouraging Janis’s unusual self-expression.

 

They could have been hunched over in Janis’s garage, paint brushes in hand as they decorated another denim jacket. They could have been found in the local diner every Friday after school, crammed in a booth and having to shout to be heard over the jukebox tucked in the corner.

 

Janis hates thinking about the things that they could have done. Having a new friend was completely new to her; it had been only her and Damian for so long, and she had been so excited, but of course, Regina had pounced on Cady immediately. It was clear that she wasn’t doing it to spite Janis for once—there would be no chance of her letting Cady into the Plastics if she knew that she was sympathetic to Janis—but even so, it still sucked.

 

Damian tells her not to focus on what could have been, but it’s easier said than done.

 

As it is they’re getting revenge of Regina and that’s all that counts, right?

 

And that’s pretty much the only good thing about the situation. Because Regina’s power is unravelling more and more every day and it’s definitely satisfying. Janis can’t deny that. She just wishes that it would happen sooner because she wants Cady back, sheltering the impressionable girl from the vultures that are the Plastics.

 

It makes Janis’s heart sink when Cady starts picking up their behaviours. She starts dressing like them, sounding like them, and it’s not the Cady that Janis used to know. It’s not the Cady that they met in that bathroom stall and both Janis and Damian know it.

 

And the thing that hurts the most is probably Cady’s crush on Aaron Samuels.

 

Because, yeah, Cady can date whoever she wants and maybe it’s just Janis being selfish, but out of everyone in the school Cady chooses him? It just entangles her further and further into Regina’s web, and Janis has to sit and listen to Cady talk about all of his assets. His shiny eyes and swoopy hair and how great he is at math. She tells Janis that she can’t tell anyone, not even Damian, because there will be hell raised if Regina finds out.

 

There’s a flash of fear in Cady’s eyes at that, and Janis just wants to hug her because it’s clear that she’s now realised how horrible Regina is,  but soon the crowds in the hall are getting too big and she’s swept along, losing Cady in the throng.

 

She finds that slightly poetic.

 

Slowly but surely Cady becomes more and more integrated into the Plastics. She buys new clothes, gets rid of her old wardrobe entirely, dyes her hair, and after Regina’s downfall, she rises to the top. Janis watches with bated breath as she stands up to Regina, but doesn’t join in with the whoops and the claps that come from the other students.

 

The smug grin on Cady’s face is too similar to the girl who came before her.

 

Janis feels completely disconnected from Cady from then on.  They stop hanging out, they barely text, and Cady doesn’t even meet her eyes in the hall anymore. She walks with Gretchen and Karen flanking her, chin up and phone in hand. She doesn’t say excuse me, she doesn’t say sorry, and it makes Janis sick to her stomach when she realises that although Regina George had met her downfall, Cady has just assumed her place. One bitch has gone and another has surfaced.

 

And it makes Janis feel weird when she calls Cady a bitch, but there are no other words for her now. In one of the rare moments that she actually acknowledges Janis and Damian's existence she completely brushes off the idea of coming to Janis’s art show, claiming that she has to be somewhere with her parents, and it hurts because although they’re not as friendly now, Cady used to be one of Janis’s top supporters along with Damian and Janis’s dad.

 

Janis isn’t even surprised when she sees pictures of Cady’s party on Instagram.

 

She’s in the lobby of the art show, taking a breather when she comes across them. They make her head start to hurt, hot tears filling her eyes. But she draws in a deep breath, wipes them away and heads back to Damian and her dad just in time to hear the winners be announced.

 

Janis leaves the art show with a second prize ribbon. But she can’t even bring herself to look at the painting anymore. She hugs her dad who congratulates her and watches her fondly as she climbs onto the back of Damian’s jazzy, placing her painting in the basket facing away from her. He says he’ll see her at home and that he’ll grab dinner on the way, and she just nods and doesn’t speak because she feels like if she opens her mouth then she’ll just start bawling.

 

She and Damian don’t speak as they cruise down the streets. She knows he’s seen the pictures too and that he’s just as hurt at Janis is. Imagine thinking that a party is more important than supporting your friend (although Janis isn’t sure she can use that word to describe Cady now).

 

So wrapped up in her own mind, Janis doesn’t even realise that they’ve started to drive through Cady’s neighbourhood. They’re just approaching Cady’s house when Aaron Samuels stalks past them, pulling Janis from her thoughts as she watches him disappear over her shoulder. But when she turns back she catches sight of Cady, heels in her hand as she futilely calls out Aaron’s name.

 

She curses when she catches sight of Janis and Damian. Janis is so angry that she can’t even think and she starts shouting, seeming to catch Cady a little off guard. But then poisoned words spill from Cady’s lips.

 

_“It’s not my fault you’re, like, in love with me or something!”_

 

Janis recoils. Damian reverses the scooter. Cady looks alarmed at the words she’d just shouted, aware that she’d completely fucked up.

 

And then Janis is seeing red and she’s shouting—even though the words are true because yes, Janis is in love with her. She's so fucking in love with her that it hurts but that isn't the reason for this—throwing her painting at the girl because she definitely doesn’t want it anymore. The ribbon falls into a puddle, and Janis considers just leaving it there but she knows that her dad will have questions. She can lie about wanting Cady to have the painting—Damian already has several on the walls of his room—but it’s another to have lost the ribbon. She’s been collecting them since she was twelve, and he’ll figure that something’s up immediately.

 

So she fishes it out and tucks it in her pocket, head resting on Damian’s shoulder as she sobs the entire way home. Her dad notes her splotchy face as they’re sat at the dinner table but she lies and tells him that it was because she fell off Damian’s jazzy and scraped her knee. He doesn’t look like he believes her, but he doesn’t push it either.

 

That night as Janis is in lying in bed, damp prize ribbon clutched in her fist, she dwells on the fact that Cady might be too far gone for them to help her now. But she’s not really angry anymore—just guilty. So, so guilty.

 

Cady isn’t Cady anymore and it’s all Janis’s fault.

 

It's not a surprise that Cady doesn't love her back.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! ♥
> 
> ⋆[pinterest.](https://pin.it/axdt62ze5gutav)  
>  ⋆[twitter.](https://twitter.com/crowning_gloryy)  
>  ⋆[tumblr.](https://ourcrowningglory.tumblr.com)


End file.
